The top 13 behaviors to cut out that kill your respect (and maybe love!)

Every relationship goes through rough patches. But what if those bickering battles and unheard feelings become the norm? Could these be signs of deeper issues at play?

You, in your love life, miss the magic touch of respect and constantly feel frustrated or unheard.

Some sneaky habits slowly chip away at the respect that forms the foundation of a strong love life. These aren’t always obvious behaviors, nor are they a death sentence for your relationship.

Yet you should stop doing those things if you want a respectful relationship to last.

Here, we’ll identify the top 13 behaviors that can kill your respect and maybe even your love as time goes on.

Ready to scrap the disrespect and reignite the spark? Let’s dive in!

The top 13 behaviors to cut out that kill your respect in your relationship!

Every relationship goes through its twists and turns. But sometimes, certain habits can slowly chip away at the respect you have for each other.

These “respect killers” can create distance, frustration, and even threaten the love you share.

This list dives into the top 13 behaviors that can damage respect in a relationship.

By identifying and cutting them out of your routine, you can rebuild a foundation of trust, communication, and appreciation—all essential ingredients for a strong and happy love life!

Let’s highlight each behavior one by one.

1. One behavior to avoid is constant criticism and nitpicking.

Ever feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells around your partner? Do you scrutinize every action your partner takes? This might be a sign of some sneaky relationship killers lurking in your love nest.

Let’s talk about one such behavior. You can leave it on to keep the respect and affection burning bright.

The Magnifying Glass Menace: A Nitpicking Nightmare.

Let’s face it. Nobody’s perfect, and even the most delicious dish can have a burnt spot.

But what happens when you solely focus on those burned bits?

Constant criticism, pointing out every tiny mistake, can feel like a constant magnifying glass over your partner’s head.

Imagine someone constantly pointing out every trivial speck of dust on your shirt—it’s annoying, right? The same goes for your actions and decisions.

This kind of nitpicking behavior slowly erodes your partner’s trust and respect for you, leaving you feeling undervalued and unimportant.

This sends a simple message: “I don’t respect you or your efforts.” This is a recipe for resentment, and the relationship is going south fast.

2. Passive-aggressive communication is another harmful behavior to eliminate.

Do you ever think you’re broadcasting secret codes in your relationship? Are you the master of the silent treatment or the cryptic text message?

This may serve as a green flag for your honor’s killing.

Healthy couples talk things out. But passive-aggressive communication, like giving the cold shoulder or dropping hints instead of being direct, is confusing and disrespectful.

We all want to feel understood in our relationships.

But if you resort to silent treatments, backhanded comments, or vague hints instead of having an open conversation, it can make your partner feel a little awkward.

Attempting to have a conversation with someone who simply ignores you can frustrate you, right? It feels like a conversation with a wall.

That’s what it is like when your partner shuts down or refuses to talk things through openly. Is that right?

This kind of passive-aggressive behavior sends the message that your partner’s feelings and needs matter little to you.

Over time, this erodes trust and respect, leaving a communication gap that can be tough to bridge.

3. Engaging in frequent lying or dishonesty can severely damage respect and trust.

Honesty is the golden thread that weaves trust and respect into any relationship. But let’s be honest (pun intended!), sometimes we all mess up.

The occasional white lie might seem harmless, but when those little fibs become a habit, it has serious consequences.

Here’s the truth: If you’re constantly being dishonest or making up stories, you’re destroying your own reputation.

Think about it this way. Imagine you built a beautiful sandcastle with your partner—a masterpiece of teamwork and trust.

But then, every time a wave comes crashing down (a minor disagreement, perhaps), instead of working together to rebuild, you try to patch the holes with a handful of wet sand (a quick lie).

Those temporary fixes might hold for a while, but eventually, the whole thing crumbles. That’s what happens when honesty erodes in a relationship.

(Building a house of cards—one shaky foundation and the whole thing collapses.)

It sends a coherent message: “I don’t respect you enough to be truthful with you,” and that’s a recipe for a love life teetering on the edge of collapse.

4. Shutting down your partner’s feelings or dismissing their concerns fosters disrespect.

Does your partner ever feel as though you dismiss their feelings with the same disregard as if they were yesterday’s news?

Maybe they express a concern, but you shut them down or dismiss it as unimportant.

This may be a sign that they will kill your respect: the dismissive do-over. Just avoid speaking the language of emotions that you can’t translate yourself.

Respect in a relationship means truly listening to your partner, even when you disagree. It’s about acknowledging their feelings and valuing their perspective.

But if you constantly shut down their thoughts and emotions, it sends a direct message: “Your feelings don’t matter to me, and I don’t regard them.”

Imagine a friend trying to tell you something big, but you brush it off by saying that you are not a good friend, right?

The same goes for love.

This behavior slowly erodes the respect your partner has for you, and that can damage the very foundation of your relationship.

5. Imposing your knowledge or talking down to your partner creates a power imbalance, making them disrespect you.

Do you remember the experience of school—finding yourself in a class with a classmate who was always correcting everyone? 

Imagine that your classmate is your partner, and their “corrections” come wrapped in a condescending tone. Feeling a little disrespected?

This can be both a major turnoff and a relationship killer in disguise—the Know-It-All Nightmare.

When two people respect each other, they form a close relationship. It means valuing your partner’s thoughts and ideas, even if they differ from yours.

But if you constantly talk down to them, interrupt their thoughts, or act like you possess all the knowledge in the universe, it creates a power imbalance that is toxic.

Imagine trying to have a conversation with someone who keeps treating you like a student—depressing, right?

The same goes for relationships.

This kind of behavior makes your partner feel unheard, unimportant, and ultimately annoying. Over time, that can chip away at the very foundation of your relationship—killing respect for you.

Remember, a healthy relationship is a two-way street, paved with mutual respect and open communication.

Dropping the know-it-all act and truly listening to your partner might surprise you with what you learn, and your love life will definitely thank you for it!

6. Making unilateral decisions without considering your partner’s input breeds contempt.

Have you ever experienced a sense of exclusion during social gatherings? Imagine that same feeling creeping into your relationship.

But instead of party planning, it’s about big decisions that affect your lives together.

This tendency to go rogue on important choices can quietly rob you of the respect you might have deserved.

Teamwork and shared decision-making are the foundations of healthy relationships. It means considering your partner’s differing thoughts and feelings.

But if you constantly make major choices—like moving apartments, changing careers, or even making weekend plans—without including your partner in the conversation, it sends a stark message: “Hey, keep quiet; your opinion doesn’t matter.”

Imagine planning a surprise trip for your best friend, but picking a destination they hate—not exactly a recipe for a joyous surprise, right?

The same goes for relationships.

This kind of behavior breeds contempt, which is a fancy way of saying it creates feelings of resentment and anger. Over time, this erodes the respect and trust that are necessary for a strong relationship.

Remember, being a couple means being a team. So quit this behavior and start involving your partner in the decision-making process.

Talk things through openly, consider each other’s perspectives, and find solutions that work for both of you.

Your relationship (and your sanity!) will thank you for it.

7. Disdainful behavior, like sneering or rolling your eyes, creates a toxic dynamic, resulting in disrespect by your partner.

Have you ever expressed your deepest feelings to your partner, only to encounter a raised eyebrow or a dismissive scoff?

Do you feel as though your partner is constantly dismissing your most heartfelt ideas, not with words, but with a sneer or a rolled eye?

These might be signs of a sneaky relationship killer lurking in the shadows: the body language bully.

Healthy relationships thrive on respect. That means valuing your partner as a person, even when you disagree.

But if your body language transforms into a constant stream of negativity—eye rolls, sighs, and scoffs—it’s blatant disrespect for them and their thoughts.

Imagine your best friend constantly making faces at your ideas—not exactly a recipe for a strong friendship, right? The same goes for love.

This kind of behavior makes your partner feel belittled and unimportant, slowly eroding the respect they have for you.

Remember, love is a reciprocal relationship based on respect rather than negativity. Let’s ditch the body language bullying and start building each other up!

8. Taking your partner for granted or failing to appreciate their efforts erodes respect.

Ever feel like your partner has become a human magic trick?

They whip up dinner, fold your laundry, and even remember your favorite coffee order, but somehow, their amazingness feels normal.

Hold on, because this could be a sign of a secret respect killer lurking in your love life: appreciation amnesia.

Mutual appreciation is the foundation of healthy relationships. It means noticing and valuing the things your partner does, big or small.

But if you constantly take their efforts for granted, never saying “thank you” or acting like their kindness is just expected, it sends a silent but hurtful message: “I don’t really care about you.”

Imagine making your best friend a surprise gift, and they just shrug—not exactly a heartwarming moment, right?

Love is the same way.

Over time, this kind of behavior wears away the respect you receive from your partner.

Thus, quit the appreciation amnesia! Start noticing the little things your partner does and show your gratitude.

A simple “thank you,” a sincere compliment, or even taking on a chore they usually do can make a world of difference.

Always remember, a slight gesture of appreciation can do wonders for nurturing love and respect.

9. Excessive abuse or refusing to communicate during conflict creates a wall between you.

Even the most rock-solid relationships have disagreements—fight night. But sometimes, the way we battle it out can be as damaging as the fight itself.

We’re talking about turning disagreements into respect-shredding war zones.

Banish the screaming matches and icy silence! We all get frustrated, but let’s be honest, yelling and shutting down communication just builds an immense wall between you.

Attempting to reason with your partner only to have them completely irrupt or clam up is not exactly a recipe for the eternal best couple, would it?

Love works the same way.

Yelling, name-calling, or the silent treatment are the nuclear bombs of respect in relationships.

They destroy any chance of a healthy conversation and make working through problems impossible.

Over time, this toxic behavior eats away at the most vital ingredient in any strong partnership: your partner’s respect for you.

Thus, time to trade in the battle tactics for teamwork! Learn to communicate calmly and respectfully, even when emotions are running high.

Listen to each other. Try to understand where your partner’s coming from and focus on finding solutions together. Remember, you’re on the same team, fighting the problems, not each other.

By keeping things calm and communicating openly, you can keep the respect (and maybe even the love) alive!

10. Being unwilling to compromise or apologize creates an unhealthy power struggle. Finally, it kills your respect in your partner’s eyes.

Even mature couples can occasionally fall into a “my way or the highway” mindset.

Do you ever feel like your relationship is a stalemate battle, with each of you pulling in opposite directions? You pull one way, and your partner pulls the other, and nobody wins.

This constant struggle can be a sign of a sneaky respect-killer lurking in your love life—a control freak. The “cut-out” list of behaviors includes always needing to be right and never saying “sorry.”

Teamwork and compromise together build a healthy relationship. However, if you consistently insist on being correct and don’t budge, it conveys a stark message: “It’s up to me.”

Imagine playing a game with your good friend, but they never let you have a turn or admit defeat—not exactly a recipe for a happy friendship, right?

The same goes for love. This type of behavior creates a power struggle that slowly erodes the respect you have for each other.

Remember, a strong relationship is a two-way street.

So, throw away the control freak! Learn to compromise, be willing to apologize when you’re wrong, and work together to find solutions that work for both of you.

By showing respect and valuing your partner’s needs, you can, in turn, receive the same respect from them!

11. Holding grudges and refusing to forgive creates emotional distance, resulting in disrespect as time passes.

Next on the “cut out” list: holding on to anger and never saying “forgive me” or “I forgive you.”

Ever feel like your past arguments are like ghosts in your relationship? They linger in the air, causing tension and making it hard to move forward.

This could be another sign of a secret honor killer lurking in your love life: the grudge gremlin.

To have good relationships, you also need to forgive and understand each other. But if you constantly hold on to anger, refuse to say “sorry,” or expect apologies without offering them yourself, it creates a chasm between you.

Imagine you’re trying to collaborate on a project with a teammate, but they keep bringing up a past mistake you made—not exactly a recipe for a successful collaboration, right?

The same goes for love and relationships. This simmering resentment builds emotional distance and slowly erodes the respect you expect from your partner.

So, discard the Grudge Gremlin! Learn to forgive, apologize when you’re wrong, and let go of past hurts. Communication and understanding are key!

By focusing on the present and working together, you can turn those lingering ghosts into happy memories and keep the respect (and love) alive!

12. Putting yourself and your needs above your partner’s always fosters a one-sided relationship and disrespect.

Next on the “cut out” list: always making things about you, never considering your partner’s needs.

Do you always take center stage in your relationship while your partner remains confined to a supporting role? You take the last piece of pizza, leaving your partner to do the dishes.

This constant one-upmanship might be a sign of a subtle respect killer lurking in your relationship.

Healthy relationships are partnerships built on mutual respect and consideration.

But if you constantly put your needs and desires above your partner’s, never compromising or asking their opinion, it creates a power imbalance.

Imagine organizing a surprise dinner for your best friend, but you arrange a meal without considering their dietary preferences—not exactly a recipe for a delightful dining experience together, right?

The same goes for love. This kind of behavior makes your partner feel unimportant and disrespected.

Quit this behavior. Learn to be a team player. Consider your partner’s feelings, ask their opinion, and find solutions that work for both of you.

By showing respect and valuing your partner’s needs just as much as your own, you can transform your relationship from a one-person show into a successful love duet!

13. Constant jealousy and possessiveness push your partner away, ultimately making them disrespect you.

Next on the “cut out” list: always worry about who your partner is talking to and where they are. Even the strongest couples feel a twinge of possessiveness sometimes.

Ever feel like your partner needs a GPS tracker just to go to the grocery store? Do you constantly worry about who they’re talking to or where they are?

This might be a sign of a crafty respect-killer skulking in your love life: the green-eyed monster.

If you’re constantly jealous and possessive, acting like your partner needs to be on a leash sends a sheer message: “I don’t trust you.”

Imagine that you are working in an office with your colleagues. Whenever you chat with someone new, your boss keeps looking at you with suspicious eyes or asks sharp questions later. Not exactly a recipe for a relaxing evening in the office, right?

The same goes for love. This kind of behavior suffocates your partner and slowly erodes the respect they have for you.

So, take down the green-eyed monster! Learn to trust your partner. Give them space and understand that a little jealousy is normal, but a lot can push them away.

By letting go of the suspicion, you can create a relationship where both of you feel secure and respected.

Happy endings start with respect!

There are a lot of yucky behaviors to learn about, right? You’ve finished learning about some of the yucky behaviors that can kill your respect in a grown-up love life!

Don’t worry, grown-up love lives shouldn’t feel like a never-ending game of “me first” versus “you first.”

Remember the best games you played with your friends? The ones where you work together, take turns, and celebrate when everyone wins?

That’s what a strong relationship is all about too—a great team where you respect each other and work hard together!

By kicking these bad habits to the curb, you and your partner can be an all-star team that high-fives each other on the way to a happy ending.

Tell your partner something wonderful that you appreciate, like their knack for preparing delicious meals or their entertaining antics.

Now, quit and conquer your love life as a team!